It is an ancient conch- shell shaped land- mass surrounded by Pakistan to the West, Bangladesh to the East, China to the North East, Nepal to the North, Sri Lanka to the South, the Bay of Bengal to the West, with the smog below, the dead ancestors above, and which is directly accessible from most anywhere by foot. In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was OM. Using this sexy little symbol the Supreme Being conjured up the material existence in one colossal big bag which resulted in matter infused with spirits and vise versa. Actually it is a bit more complex than that. God sprouted a lotus from his navel and from there sprang forth Brahma, the created creator, the caused cause of all causes. Brahma looked all around and could only see water. So he thought WTF? And proceeded to torture himself so severely that God appeared before him and asked WTF? Brahma told God that he wanted to do his thing, but just plain forgot. With that God cast his casual- glance upon Brahma and thence forth appeared Grade A Soma. I was recently reading my copy of the Personality and Individual Differences medical journal while eating a scone at a bistro and I happened upon an intellectually. Brahma immediately drank some Soma and got so enlightened that he had it all figured out, where upon he created Bharat. As the ions passed many alien- incarnations appeared to try and talk sense into the dinosaurs, but it wasn't until an alien shagged a dinosaur, whose off- spring in turn impregnated a monkey, that the DNA of man & women appeared from the muck and populated the land - which by then was renamed India by Christopher Columbus. Civilisation first started in India. Being askance of three continents India was the navel of the world, and before the Ancient Greeks started to ask themselves questions about if there was a God, the Indians were partying with them every night. Why Should a Beautiful Russian Woman or Gorgeous Ukrainian Girl Use the Web and International Dating Sites to Find Her Life Partner? By tradition, any Russian woman. Singapore's best dating site and app for smart singles. Join our award-winning online dating and singles events service and meet someone amazing. This was where they invented writing, in order to be able to communicate with each other without being on the same cloud, and mathematics, so they could then tell the person they were communicating with how much their score was. In fact ancient India created everything that makes civilisation what it is today, and being at the centre of the world they were also the heart of trade and creation, and probably the first people to realize that wheels work better when they're round instead of boulder- shaped. Haggard bands of Islamic nutters went around converting all the monkey men into Muslims, whom they promptly fed to their hungry camels and goats. Those who escaped this gluttonous slaughter became Hindus (the unslaughtered), and they lived hungrily until cow- eating white men came with guns, a central banking system, and diabolical plans such as big telegraph, roads and railways, which culminated in the British Raj. It was theirs for the taking. And the plunder began. This led to poverty among the monkey men which persisted until one bald man took over. The Mahatma said that monkey men must not fight for independence, rather they should strike for independence. His idea was that this would confuse the British, even though they were all employed by the British. The plan worked, and ended up not only confusing the British but even the Indians themselves who got fired from their jobs, leaving them all unemployed, ending up in even greater poverty. Apparently a common interest in all things curry was not enough to unite a nation or maintain peace with neighboring states. There was only one solution, something that has kept the Indians united and reduced the number of casualties from fighting across the meaningless man- made borders separating village from water source, home from outhouse, and temple from gurudwara. Of course the mystical answer was Bollywood. It doesn't matter what caste, religion, language or culture the modern Indian hails from, absolutely no one with a TV could be bothered fighting when they could tune into the constant stream of low budget cinema being beamed into their cow- dung encrusted slums. And this led to an interesting fact: previously every 7th person in the world was an Indian, today every 6th person is an Indian, in 1. Indian, and very soon everyone will be an Indian - - with the exception of the Chinese and Polish races, who pose a similar problem to humanity. All three races share this very ingenious idea to attain world domination. But as usual Indians will continue to be conquered many times, mostly by international corporations needing cheap IT and tech support. After all, somebody has to hire them. For the first time in decades the High Court of Goa was re- opened to try the case of the murder and sexual assault of a British teenage girl in India's seaside resort of Goa 4. Police have charged two Indian men – late Pagala Gupta and Ravi Raj – both deceased, in connection with the February 1. Scarlett Keeling in a case that dealt a blow to Goa's hippie paradise image. The suspects, long since dead, have been charged with culpable homicide (which does not amount to murder) and grievous sexual assault. Both denied any wrongdoing according to their testimony given in 1. Naik said his late father saw Keeling's bruised, partly clothed body on a beach near the shore when he arrived at the scene, Rivankar said. Indian police initially said Keeling had drowned. But her mother, Fiona Mac. Keown, also deceased, rejected that theory and launched a campaign for a second autopsy that led investigators to determine she was drugged and sexually assaulted before her death. Federal police say, perhaps, one of the suspects drugged the young girl and then sexually assaulted her. She was left on the seashore in the early hours of February 1. Die a . Rivankar said. Goa's police insist the tropical tourist hot- spot is safe for hippies, and cite Keeling’s death as proof an exception. The trial has come 4. British Embassy in nearby Mumbai, after they expressed outrage over the old assault case. If convicted, the two deceased defendants may be sentenced to . Concerns a legal case which has been pending in India for over one billion years, and is finally set to be heard by India’s Supreme Court. The Case, “Death vs. Life” is based on the case of one bad Brahmin named Ajamila, a sinful man, who was set to be taken away by Death (Plaintiff), whose mission was frustrated by Life (Defendant). But one day, while he was collecting flowers for worship, he saw a drunken prostitute engaged in kinky sex with a lusty man. Ajamila got a boner; his mind became attached to the prostitute. Consequently he out- bid the poor “John” and took this slut into his home as a Chambermaid. Inevitably, he abandoned his family and went off with the prostitute. Due to his connection with the slut, he lost all his good qualities. He became a thief, a liar, a drunkard, a murderer, and even a potential terrorist. He completely forgot about his original training as a Brahmin, and his whole life was ruined. At the end of his life while he was dying Ajamila began to call his son “Narayana! BUT, at the same time, because he had uttered the holy name of “Narayana!”, Life, also arrived there, and forcefully stopped Death from taking Ajamila for punishment. Death was irate! After a brief argument with Life, Death left in a huff. He then filed this case, citing . As is normal in the Indian legal system the case took over one billion years to reach the Supreme Court, and soon a judgment will be reached within the next several hundred millennium. Nothing and no one can rush Indian justice. From the very start the river is being polluted by the stool and urine of holy men all the way down to dog eaters. All of whom relieve nature as well as bath for purification in her fragrant waters. This massive sewer- system has acquired so many germs that a full medical dictionary would only name about half of them. And this trend has grown over ions until the present day, when humanity is now faced with the dreaded Indian super bugs, which are even resistant to themselves. People don't just catch these super- germs, the germs are so aggressive that they chase and catch the people. The NDB 1 gene, which creates what some experts describe as . And NDB 1 makes secular bacteria go completely ballistic, with the only known antidote being direct exposure of the infected area to a military- grade flame- thrower. Delhi- belly first emerged in India over three thousand years ago (when New Delhi was known as Old Delhi), and if left unchecked, it could possibly spread across the world, causing a global outbreak of “Delhi- belly.” Recent studies have investigated how common NDB 1- producing bacteria are in community waste seepage—such as latrines, water pools or rivulets in streets—and tap water in urban New Delhi, all of which have tested equal in purity. The NDB 1 gene was found in all of the samples. It would be expected that perhaps as many as fifty million people are carrying NDB 1- bacteria as normal intestinal flora in the center of New Delhi alone. Experts say the spread of superbugs like the Delhi- belly gene threatens whole swaths of modern medicine, which cannot be practiced if doctors have no effective cure. Thus the potential for wider parasitizing of NDB 1 has been here for thousands of years and should not be ignored when visiting this holy land and sampling its culinary delights. Although recently officials in Delhi have unveiled a radical solution to tackle the increasingly noxious smog hanging over India: a giant public air freshener that scrubs the atmosphere clean. The seventy- ton Pro- life. Gupta, health chief of the New Delhi Municipal Council, told Uncyclopedia. A brown haze often lingers over the Indian capital — a smudgy cloud linked by analysts to increasing rates of Death by suffocation. Globally, air pollution claims about twomillion lives a day, according to the World Health Organization, ranking it second only to death caused by dying. Those who live there are at risk of breathing progressively dirtier air as India becomes more desperate. By 2. 03. 0 the number of vehicles on the country’s already congested roads is expected to rise sevenfold to about 9.
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